Keeping on top and staying there..

It’s nearly been two months since my last post. Two whole months. Obviously a lot has happened, but it is frightening to think that so much time has passed and so quickly. I really feel like time is running away from me. It is sad to think that the summer is almost over.  In the last couple of months we have had a family holiday up in Yorkshire, Isabella had horse riding therapy sessions, my parents came and went, we caught up with family and friends and we enjoyed some glorious fun filled days in the sunshine during the heat wave.

The weeks appear to be rolling into one, before we know it we have arrived at the weekend and it seems to finish as quickly as it starts. Like most people, I always have a list of ‘things to do.’ It has to be a physical list, as if I don’t write it down, it doesn’t get done. Having said that some items on my list just getting constantly moved to the ‘new’ list. For one I have thousands of photos of Isabella and holiday photos that I want to put into scrap books and photo books. Usually the things that I ‘need’ to do take president over the things that I “want” to do.

I want to write my blog. I want to sort my holiday photos out. I want to plan my next holiday. I want to read a book for pleasure and sometimes I just want to do nothing. I just want to do sweet FA.

The obstacles stopping me doing what I want are there are not enough hours in the day and simply things that ‘need’ doing are obviously more important. I need to cook, clean, tidy. We have hospital appointments, daily physio sessions and home visits. I have letters that ‘need’ writing and phone calls that need to be made.

Life is fast paced and at times it feels like I am chasing my tail. Like most people I feel that the feeling of achieving something on my list is short lived, as the minute I achieve one thing another is added.

Isabella unlike other children cannot entertain herself. She cannot sit unaided for longer than a couple of minutes and she cannot hold toys to play with them. This means I have to do small jobs that don’t take too long and leave the rest until the evening when Isabella is asleep.

Some of you may have a wardrobe, I have a floordrobe. My wardrobe starts off tidy and gradually gets messier and messier. The clean washing gets launched in the cupboard with the intent of being put away properly, this rarely happens. Then a few days later another pile is added to the pile. I must add these are clothes from the line. I never iron, unless it is an absolute nesscessity. The way i see it, it is a) boring and b) once less job for the list. Then comes the inevitable moment when I need a particular piece of clothing and I rake through the wardrobe like a woman possessed, angry at myself for not putting it away. The clothes get tossed onto the floor and here starteth the Floordrobe.

Then once a month or when it becomes impossible to find anything in my wardrobe, I begin operation clean up. This takes a while, as I find not only my washing, but tee shirts that Paul has been looking for, for the last week…An hour or so later my wardrobe is returned to it’s rightful state and I tell myself, it would be much easier to put them away properly in the first instance. Easier said then done. Something always pops up. The phone rings, the door bell goes, dinner needs cooking, Isabella needs me. I am sure some of yoy can idenifty with this.You know the drill.

It’s not just my wardrobe that gets neglected. Once a month paper work needs filing away. Once every couple of months the bits and bobs drawer becomes virtually impossible to open, when it finally does open I am attacked by some out of date coupon.

Getting on top of things gives me a feeling of satisfaction. Currently my wardrobe is tidy, the filing has been put away and I am writing my blog. The house is fairly tidy. Sadly no photo books have been made.

However this weekend I am doing what I want. Isabella is in Daddy Day Care and I am finally going on one of my best friend’s Hen Weekend, which after months of planning and re adding to the ‘list’ has finally come together.

Strange I should be relishing a full nights sleep with no listening out for Isabella; yet I chose to blog…no doubt on Monday my list will have grown ten fold and I willbe dealing with it on a three day hangover, but it will be so worth it.

Who knows may be one day I will be on top and I will stay there. ..a girl can dream can’t she!



SWAN Song Part 2

WOW. July 1st was the last time I posted. It has been such a long time since I have posted here, on my blog. I have so much to say but never seem to find the time. As you all know (as I have harped on about it a fair bit) SWAN has been a major part of our lives (and still is) on our journey with Monkey in the Jungle.  So I decided to write a second part to the original SWAN song from last year…. I promise I will follow this up with all the posts I have been promising myself to write….



Over a year ago,

I joined SWAN UK,

A place I fell in love with,

And a place I will stay.


At this time,

The family was quite small,

But everyone of us,

Stood very proud and tall.


We raised awareness,

To get SWAN known,

And to find other families,

Who were standing alone.


Time went on,

and our numbers grew,

The word was out,

We were no longer a few,


In over a year,

We have grown seven fold,

And no signs of stopping,

As others are told.


Times have changed,

And the group is so vast,

With posts and pictures,

All coming so fast.


I pop in when I can,

To say hello,

And it’s lovely to hear,

From those that I know,


To those of you,

I have yet to meet,

I am glad you found us,

And joined our fleet.


Finding SWAN meant,

Finding a Place to belong,

And within a few months

I wrote my SWAN song,


I may not always comment,

Or always lend an ear,

But that doesn’t mean,

I am not here.


SWAN’s foundations are,

Built on honesty & trust,

A sense of humour,

Is definitely a must,


We share our feel goods,

Our highs and our lows,

Our worries, our fears,

Our strife and our woes,


When we got a diagnosis,

I didn’t leave SWAN,

As I wanted the friendships

And support to go on,


But I wanted to find others,

To find out more,

But found very little,

Behind the PMG door,


So with another Mum,

In the hope we’d be heard,

We set up a charity,

To help spread the word,


We have feel good Fridays,

And share in the same way,

And everyone is thoughtful,

and kind in what they say,


Like SWAN in the beginning,

Our family is quite small,

But in the same way,

We all stand very tall.


Please like our page,

So our family can grow,

And be like SWAN,

With more in the know.



By Tracey Gardiner