I think most people live their lives with the mindset and attitude of ‘That will never happen to me.’ I know that I did. It was not a deliberate way of thinking, it was the way I was. Nothing phased me or scared me. I guess it was an age thing too. I had seen things on the news and read about things in newspapers; sad stories about people dying in car accidents or having life threatening illnesses and conditions. These stories touched me and made me feel sad but they never worried me.
I was like most young people happy, worry and care free. I left home at 20 to become a Holiday Rep. During which time; I drank more than I ate. What I did eat would horrify any Dietician. I partied more than I slept. The sleep that I did get was usually was fully clothed in the previous nights attire or on the beach caked in tanning oil. On nights out I tottered around on 4 inch heels that crippled my feet and when the pain became all too much I removed them and would stomp around outside barefoot. I speedily rode my moped more times with my helmet off than on. When I did walk I would always hastily cross the road on red. I did all of this without a worry and a care in the world. It was fun. I didn’t see any danger.
Fast forward 12 years and I am Mother and suddenly I see danger. I see pontential danger everywhere. I am Mother who gave birth to a beautiful baby girl without any complications. I am a Mother who never once thought that the beautiful child I had would be severley disabled. So now I have tilted my view of the world slightly. I no longer think, that won’t happen to me or us as a family, because it might. That is not to say I am now a real pessimist and view everything as the glass half empty, as that is definitely not the case. I now just air on the side of caution and opt for the safer option.
I still party, just not every night! I am lucky if it is once a month! My sleep is no longer governed by me, my little monkey decides how much sleep she feels Mummy needs and for the most part it is a bit more than I used to get!
I try to eat more healthier, but think ‘Everything in Moderation’ is generally a good rule to live by. I no longer use tanning oil, instead lather myself up in Isabella’s 50+ sun screen! I no longer sun bathe, we just take strolls in the sunshine. If I feel I need to add a bit of colour to my life I will now fake it rather than going to a Sun Bed.
I most definitely no longer ride a moped and I am extremely careful in the car now that I have finally learnt to drive, with all speed restrictions adhered to. I cross the road with extreme caution and never cross until I see the Green Man.
As a parent you have to change and see potentials dangers that are around you and your child. I have to choose the safer options to protect my family. To some the idea of no longer sun bathing or going out in the sun with 50+ protection sounds extreme, but thousands of people a year are diagnosed with skin cancer and I cannot afford to take such a risk.
My first thought now is no longer me it is Isabella and my family, so if something doesn’t look safe or isn’t quite right I/we avoid it. It may mean taking a little long to get somewhere, as we wait patiently for the Green Man or drive safely rather than speedily, but Isabella’s safety is our concern and my family’s safety is my concern. It chills me to the bone when I think about families that lose their child or a child that loses their parents.
It really is strange how things that happen in your life can change your view or outlook for the future. I know that the bronzed Crazy Tracey the Holiday Rep tearing around on her moped, hair flying wildly in the breeze, can of Red Bull in her bag, planning her night out in her head, with a raging hangover and only two hours sleep would never have thought that she would become so sensible. Well not THAT sensible, as I on my nights when I do party I still do totter round in 4 inch heels and yes admit to having to take my shoes off when the pain becomes too much, which I may add is much, much sooner than it used to be! Then more often than not I have been known to go to bed fully clothed like the old days, waking up looking like the newest member of Kiss! Some things NEVER change…