Before Isabella, it was just Paul and I. We had no commitments and no responsibilities (well except for work!) We did what we wanted, when we wanted (when we weren’t working!) We could (and very often we would) do spur of the moment things such as; random road trips to Paris (never again I may add), all day sessions in the pub, off the cuff weekend breaks and monster DVD duvet days. We just did what ever took our fancy.
When I found out I was pregnant, to some degree that all changed. We now had a responsibility. We had a little person growing in my tummy to consider. We now had ‘Peanut’. Obviously the drinking stopped for me and things became less random, as we had Peanut’s future to consider. We had things we needed to buy. Life had changed, but it was by no means boring. It was anything but. Sure we didn’t go out drinking till all hours, (well I didn’t) but we went out shopping to buy things for Peanut. We would spend hours talking about Peanut and what Peanut would look like, where we could take Peanut on holiday, what interests and hobbies Peanut would like. Peanut wasn’t even here yet, but was already a massive part of our lives. On the advice of everyone with children we did take the opportunity to make the most of the time together before Peanut’s arrival. So we went out for lots of meals, days out, trips to the cinema and a month before Peanut’s due date a lovely romantic weekend away.
When Peanut arrived our little two became a wonderful three. We no longer came first, Isabella did and still does to this day. Everything we did was with Isabella in mind. Her needs always come first. See my post The Bigger Picture. I am Isabella’s primary carer, I haven’t gone back to work so I can look after Isabella. Even though I spend all day with Isabella and know her inside and out Daddy obviously plays a massive role in her life. She idolises her Daddy and loves the time she spends with him, when he is not at work. So you can imagine my shock and sadness on hearing the surprise news that Daddy would be leaving us for four months. Our three would now be going down to two. I was devastated.
This time the two would be different, Isabella and Mummy. I have to say I didn’t want Isabella’s Daddy to go and I knew that we would both miss him like crazy and we did. Having said that the time Isabella and I spent together was amazing. Like when it was just Paul and me, Isabella and I had no one else to worry about. We could do what we wanted when we wanted. Not that we can’t do it when Daddy is here, it just meant could do things in the week and not worry about Daddy missing out. We took lots of road trips in the car to see family and friends, went to Cotswold Wildlife Park (lots), we had days out at theme parks and Zoos, had picnics in the sunshine and most importantly I had lots of cuddles as I had Daddy’s share. Best of all no Football or Sky Sports News on the telly!
All that said it was hard work and I would just like to say ‘Big Respect’ to single parents. You really are rockstars! It was only four months and I know that some servicemen can be away for a lot longer so we were very fortunate. I say hard work because you literally have to do everything. The day was no different, as I always look after Isabella in the day, as I said. It was the evenings where it didn’t stop, there was no-one to wash up whilst I bathed Isabella or vice versa. There was no one to hang the washing out or bring it in. There was no-one to help with the jobs that I couldn’t do in the day. There was no one to help with Isabella whilst I cleared up Daisy’s mess! Daisy our dog having a suspected tumour couldn’t have come at a worse time. Unexpected trips to the Dog hospital in Birmingham were certainly not on the agenda! Seriously single mums with more than one child you are awesome!
Like anything I just got on with it and got into a routine. A routine that meant I wasn’t sitting down til late, (sometimes 10:30pm) but a routine nonetheless. When I finally did sit down it was my time and I was determined to do something for me. Sleep would have been a better choice, but I wanted some me time to watch some trashy TV, read a book or watch a film. It was actually when Paul was away I finally started my blog.
The blog became my companion, my release, my friend. I looked forward to sitting down, no matter how late and writing a post. Some nights that was all I would do and it would be until silly o’ clock in the morning and boy did I pay for it the following day. So with the blog and the support of my family, friends and SWAN family the days rolled into weeks, the weeks into months and before we knew it Daddy was due home.
On the 28th July two became three once more. Daddy was home and we were over the moon. Isabella was so excited when she woke and found Daddy was home. It took a while to get back into the swing of things. It felt strange having someone in the house, I must have jumped out of my skin a dozen times at least. Situation normal has once again resumed. Daddy putting things in the wrong place and moving things, some things never change! Ha ha! Then of course me talking too much and too loud and when a film is on! It makes me think of the Lee Evans sketch. Skip to 4:50 or watch the whole sketch it’s hiliarous!
Welcome home Daddy! We have missed you xx