It’s funny how having children can change you not in a bad way, but in a good way. I have always been a loud, bubbly character always on the go and always talking (my family members call me Fog Horn -Leg Horn) – that side of me hasn’t changed. Now however I like it when it is quiet and when I am quiet too! I take real pleasure in sitting in silence, something which I found very difficult in school! I love to sit down, wrapped up in my cosy pyjamas, when Isabella is in bed and just slowly unwind. Once I have had my few moments of blissful silence, I like nothing better than the sound of my Diet Coke can being opened and poured by Paul. My Diet Coke Break is my highlight of the night, sounds silly I know but that sound signifies ‘Me Time.’ It means that I can watch American Boxsets like, Grey’s Anatomy and One Tree Hill and lose myself in other people’s lives that are so far removed from my own. Sometimes however the episodes can be a bit too close to home and make me cry. I don’t stop the tears, I let them fall, as it’s okay as Isabella is not around to see them. Sometimes I just need a good cry just to let it all out.
That time of night is also about making time for Paul and I. We try to make a point of talking about things other than Isabella. Not that we don’t want to, it’s just that we try to remember that as well as being a family and parents to Isabella, we are couple and a husband and wife to each other. It doesn’t always work out that way as, I have said before there are not enough hours in the day, so sometimes we spend the night talking about Isabella and her progress and her meetings with professionals.
As a couple we are easily pleased and a good film or boxset, our snuggie blankets and some chocolate and lots of cuddles make for a nice, relaxed evening. Don’t get us wrong we do like to go out and we still do on occasion, but with being tired and no family leaving close by we just get on and do. I think as long as we are making time for each other that is good enough. The times we do then get to go out are even more special and we make a real effort.
It’s funny I think I am slowly turning into my parents. When we are snuggled up on the sofa and the phone rings, I find myself saying ‘Who’s that, who’s calling at this hour?’ and it’s usually only 9 0′ Clock. I now understand why they said that though, you work all day and you just want to relax, sometimes mustering up a conversation on the phone is hard to do.
Not long after I usually end up falling alseep on the sofa and miss the end of the film or the programme we have have been watching. I think it’s because I sit down and can hear Isabella quitely breathing on the monitor and I relax. I know she is soundly alseep and doesn’t need me (for the moment)and my brain tells my body to ‘Stand Down’…